Conversation over the phone between me and a telephone operator for one of my banks:

Me: Hi, I'm having a problem with my card, I think I might need a new one.
Her: What's the problem, sir?
Me: Increasingly frequently, it's not working so well with some chip-and-PIN machines, not letting me pay first time.
Her: Well if that's the problem, I think you need to go to an ATM, and select PIN options, if it's blocked, you'll be able to reset it from there.
Me: ... er, okay, I don't think we're on the same page, it's not that my PIN is faulty or I've forgotten it, or the card is blocked. It's that when I go to pay for goods in some locations, the card isn't working first time. We get there eventually, but it can take two or three goes, and I think the chip part of the card is to blame, because it's getting a bit worn.
Her: No, Mr Freakette, we ARE on the same page, you need to go to an ATM machine and check your PIN settings.

I tried to argue the point with her, that my PIN was valid, I know my PIN, and it is not a PIN problem, it is clearly a CHIP problem, but she was having none of it. Eventually, and I think in the interest of getting rid of me, she said I could have a new card anyway if it would make me feel better - why, yes, yes it fucking would you stupid bitch. There was a clue in the first sentence I said to you, the bit where I said, "I think I might need a new one" ... Honestly, what fucking relation do you think the PIN has with the CHIP in terms of function? If I am typing my PIN in right 100% of the time (and I am), do you think going to an ATM and fiddling with the PIN settings will change this? Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong but she offered no explanation as to WHY my standing in front of a random box in the wall in the side of the high street and pressing a couple of buttons would magically make card readers recognise my PIN when the same card readers DO recognise the card after the shop assistant rubs the chip section with their thumb / clothing.

More to the point, you work for my bank, I give this bank money, if you want me to withdraw all this money and move to a bank where I will be treated like someone with intelligence and not someone to be fobbed off with some shit advice like that, then I will, but I'd hope it wouldn't come to this. Seriously, I hope that she was new or something, and that that was being recorded so she can hear what a bitch she sounded like and learn from her mistakes.